However in the last 3 weeks I have been prescribed gabapentin by the doctors. These are pain modifiers rather than pain killers. When I was first prescribed them I was unsure if I wanted to take them or not. Reason for this is I didn’t want to get myself into a life of tablet taking. However I could no longer take the constant pain which was always worse in the morning, so I began to take them. It started off with 1 tablet per day for a week and then became 2 with only 1 side effect. The side effect was that it made me very drowsy. This actually helps at night as I now get a more solid sleep rather than the broken sleep I had experienced for the previous 8 months. Downside is the tiredness during the day. There are days when I really struggle to stay awake at my desk and have recently started to drink energy drinks in the afternoon. Someone did say to me something that I have never thought of before and that is maybe I should avoid having caffeine. This is something that I had never considered and was something that no one else had said to me. Now that it has been mentioned, it does make sense. So as of tomorrow I will no longer be taking in massive amounts of caffeine.
The bottom line is that at the moment, I think I would rather have a life of tablet taking, than a life of constant pain.
Well post 1 seemed to go ok, so what next? I need to find an identity for this blog. Some of you may follow my wife (www.susankmann.co.uk) and her multi-personality blog, should mine do that?
I have read her posts, mainly because I have to and the one that sticks in my mind is To blog or Not to blog. Why will I do it and what do I expect to happen with this blogging malarkey?
My first post was done weeks ago, it started off as writing down how I was feeling and then became something more personal. I then bought my domain name on a whim as I was looking to test something work related. It then all kind of slotted together and I went for it. I had put a brave front on how I was feeling and frankly it was becoming tiring to continue with it. I used the post to let my friends, colleagues and strangers know how I was really feeling and to be honest I could almost feel the difference. I no longer have to hide the pain that I am in while standing up. People now knew that when I looked tired it wasn’t because I had been out late. If there are other PVFS/CFS/ME sufferers out there that are bottling it up inside then I suggest you find some way to let people know how you are feeling and where you are physically, mentally and emotionally.
I don’t know what to expect from this, it might even be something that becomes dormant very quickly. At the moment though, it is somewhere for me to ramble on and Susan doesn’t have to listen to it.
I would also like to thank everyone who read my first post and took the time to comment either on the blog or on facebook. This is for my friend Ian Mcgowan and not for anyone under the age of 18 tatas.
Apr 2009 after going through a brief spell of giving up my much loved Sport of American Football, I returned to training. The Monday morning after, I woke up feeling like I had been involved in a minor car accident. My first though was “Football, how I’ve missed you”.
Fast forward 1 year to April 2010. I wake up on a Monday morning feeling like I have been involved in a minor car accident, this time my thoughts were “Will this ever get any better”
Last October, I was diagnosed with Post Viral Fatigue Symptoms (PVFS) after having a virus. The virus itself really hit me for 6, I could barely lift my body out of bed, I ached everywhere. Doctors diagnosed it as a viral infection that would clear up. 3 weeks later and my body still felt battered. Doctors this time sent me packing with advice to return if I wasn’t any better with 4 weeks. 4 weeks later and another visit to the doctors and I was diagnosed with PVFS.
3 months later and another trip to the docs, this time armed with a list of all the things I have felt wrong with me over the previous 3 months, my main gripe being this crippling headache that caused me to miss 4 days of work. Everything on the list was explained to me. The headaches, the short concentration span, the broken sleep, the forgetfulness and the headaches. I had now been upgraded from PVFS to CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) or its previous guise of ME.
I know that this was coming; I knew it would soon become CFS/ME. What do I do now? My caring wife had already took steps on this and had researched vitamins and minerals to take to help make things easier. I take 4 tablets every night, I am not sure if they are helping but I do know that they are not making it worse. The hardest thing about it all is my exercise levels, or lack off. I was always a fairly active person. I would train a couple of times a week, go to the gym, play 5 asides. Now I am limited to walking around the supermarket or the walk from where I park the car. There are times where the idea of walking up the stairs to go to my bed leaves me sitting on the couch longer than I should be. I have 2 boys who love it when there dad throws them about and chases after them, unfortunately this can’t happen every day.
As I am typing this it makes me realise how lucky I am. It makes me realise that without my wife I may be in a pit of depression with no way out. She is the one that helps me through the bad days. She is the one that distracts our boys so that I can have a rest. She is the one that drags me up when I am starting to feel down. Maybe I don’t tell her enough but without her I would be nothing and I love her so much.
I guess in the end football has prepared me for these pains, only this time there is no glory.