Forcing a social situation...

On Saturday I went to play poker with some old friends from school.  To be honest I was not up for it one bit.  Over the last month or so I have not been feeling at my best.  I think I can trace it down to being because I ate some wheat but to be honest it was now that long ago I am not sure.

Anyway, I have played poker with this crowd in the past and I have to admit it is maybe one of the funniest nights I have.  We meet up every 3 months or so and its good catchup and also some stories thrown in from the past.  All in all it is good fun and often aided with some alcohol.  As I wasn't feeling great I decided that I would just take the car.  I told everyone in advance that I was driving and that I wasn't feeling well.

I don't keep my illness a secret but I also don't use it as an excuse either.  Saturday was interesting to see the different levels of peoples understanding of what was actually wrong with me.  A few understood the basics, a couple seemed to understand a little more and then there was one that didn't have any real clue.  Every person there asked how I was, asked how I was feeling and seemed to appreciate that I had made the effort to go.  I was explaining to the group in general how I had struggled to get up the stairs the other week to which I was asked "How come you can play 5's then?".  Its a legitimate question I suppose, I explained that I can only play 5s when I am well, I then went on to explain the illness like a rechargeable battery.

I have to admit that there was another motive for me going.  People generally only see me when I am well, they don't see me the days when I can't concentrate, in real pain and can't get up stairs.  On Saturday I was in between these stages.  I wanted to go as I don't like letting people down but I also wanted people to see me when I am not at my best.  There may be times in the future when I will need to pull out of these types of social gatherings and I think it helps when people see me not at my best.  Also winning helps