Forcing a social situation...

On Saturday I went to play poker with some old friends from school.  To be honest I was not up for it one bit.  Over the last month or so I have not been feeling at my best.  I think I can trace it down to being because I ate some wheat but to be honest it was now that long ago I am not sure.

Anyway, I have played poker with this crowd in the past and I have to admit it is maybe one of the funniest nights I have.  We meet up every 3 months or so and its good catchup and also some stories thrown in from the past.  All in all it is good fun and often aided with some alcohol.  As I wasn't feeling great I decided that I would just take the car.  I told everyone in advance that I was driving and that I wasn't feeling well.

I don't keep my illness a secret but I also don't use it as an excuse either.  Saturday was interesting to see the different levels of peoples understanding of what was actually wrong with me.  A few understood the basics, a couple seemed to understand a little more and then there was one that didn't have any real clue.  Every person there asked how I was, asked how I was feeling and seemed to appreciate that I had made the effort to go.  I was explaining to the group in general how I had struggled to get up the stairs the other week to which I was asked "How come you can play 5's then?".  Its a legitimate question I suppose, I explained that I can only play 5s when I am well, I then went on to explain the illness like a rechargeable battery.

I have to admit that there was another motive for me going.  People generally only see me when I am well, they don't see me the days when I can't concentrate, in real pain and can't get up stairs.  On Saturday I was in between these stages.  I wanted to go as I don't like letting people down but I also wanted people to see me when I am not at my best.  There may be times in the future when I will need to pull out of these types of social gatherings and I think it helps when people see me not at my best.  Also winning helps

1 comment:

  1. A lovely honest post. You really weren't fit to go out but you pushed yourself as you have to do sometimes and we all appreciate it. Keep it up honey, you are doing amazing. Love you x